ignore due to ignor-ance

All anyone has wanted to talk about blog about tweet about trend about is the Kaylee/Kacee thing and I don’t know anything about it.

I realize this makes me a very bad American, and I should be transfixed in front of the  TV or fused to social media threads breathlessly waiting for every lurid detail of this tragedy until the verdict was given…but I just couldn’t sum up the energy to LIVE MY LIFE, LOVE MY CHILDREN, CARE FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS…and still give a rat’s ass about some crazy chick for whom justice most certainly would not be served, whether she was guilty or not.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have no idea if she did it or not. I don’t know enough of the case to pass judgement: I REALLY DON’T. Please, please, do not fill up my in box or reblog this a gazillion times with comments telling me all the graphic stuff I should know. I can go to CNN or MSNBC or any other news source and get all those details. I don’t want to. I appreciate you trying to enlighten me. I just don’t care.

My belief is that if she were to be truly innocent, she would never be able to live a peaceful or calm existence for the rest of her days, because she has lost her child to a horrible crime, be accused of this crime, been put through the g.d. wringer for this crime, already served TWO years of her life for this crime, time she will never get back, time she should have spent grieving and mourning her child in ANY way she needed and preferably under the supervision of a professional…but that’s neither her nor there. If she were guilty, guilty of any or all or whatever tiny or complete part of this horrible act committed to an innocent child, from waiting too long to call it in because she believed her child was coming home (denial? Or something more sinister?) or the worst of the worst (did she kill her child or arrange for it to happen?) well: she has to wake up each and every day and live with that.  One of these days, someday in the future, she will possibly be mentally healthy again. If so, the full and true ramifications of what she has done will slam into her like a Mac truck, and she won’t be able to hide from them.

Where will she be then? What will she do? She will have to eat, sleep, and breathe the consequences of her actions, and there will be no escaping them in a bubble of  un-reality in her head. I hope she survives this to walk the rest of her days, haunted by what she’s done, no matter how small or large. I really do.

That’s the worst I can wish upon her. All parents screw up, and what tortures us is  our flaws. Were we good enough? Did we “fuck up our kids” when we took away their car for a month? When we grounded them for their grades? Were we too harsh? Too easy? Too permissive? Did our leniency lead to them trying drugs? Drinking in college? We beat ourselves up over these things, and don’t tell me we don’t. If you’re a parent, no matter how old your kid is, you’re already second guessing yourself.

Now imagine you’re Kacee Anthony. Imagine you’re suddenly sane and capable of understanding the world around you and what has happened. How much will you beat yourself up?

I can’t think of a more fitting punishment. Let’s just all hope and pray she is forced to get mental health treatment and put on the correct meds to become a sane, healthy, functional member of society. Then let’s see what happens.